Text Messaging: The Rise and Fall of the Real Relationship

I do not expect men to come toss stones at my window while reciting love poems under a moonlit sky. I do, however, think that picking up the phone and muttering a few sentences in a communicative effort would be a pleasing addition to the meandering webs of dating.

When did text messaging become the modern means of courtship?

There is a man I rendezvous with that only corresponds by text messaging. Sometimes it’s a simple “how are you doing” and sometimes it’s two or three pagers. I’m not kidding, he’ll have so much to tell me that he takes the time to text out a message that must be sent in three installments. Wouldn’t it be quicker to-I don’t know-pick up the phone? Am I that threatening of a person that voice-to-voice contact seems too fearful to bear? Of course I’ve wondered if he’s hiding something, like a wife, but at this point all other evidence suggests that extremely unlikely unless she lives in another country or is locked in mini storage somewhere. To be fair, I’m not quite sure he owns a phone. He’s foreign and carries around some mini-computer everywhere…

But besides my own circumstance, it appears text dating is an epidemic. Texting is a godsend to man whores- they can late night text all they want without fear of rejection or retaliation. They can sneak themselves back into the hearts of women they conveniently lost touch with 3 weeks ago. They can send out mass texts to every woman they’ve ever met and pick and choose from who responds. All of these examples are true stories.

As a fair human I give texting a little credit, hence the “rise” part of my theory. Text messaging allows one to feel more comfortable perhaps with initial communication. Perhaps some relationships would never come to fruition without that halfway step of texting- more personal then an email, but not as daunting as a phone call. Put two really shy people together and give them a couple of Motorola Razors, and my-oh-my some sparks could fly.

In a begrudging fashion I’ve accepted text messaging into my life. Quite nice when running late to send a note or to update loved ones on the progress of a surgery or reminder of an important date. But to build a relationship? No thanks. I’d rather arrange to meet under the town hall clock every other Friday and have real conversations.

But, maybe that explains why I’m single.