Yup, I'm Single. Now Getting Hit On is Gross.

It's like once you're single you emit some silent vibe inviting all in, some powerful magnetism that lets men know to act inappropriately towards you. Is there a body wash I can use to throw the scent? The other day a guy actually WINKED at me. Winked! It was a slow-mo walk by as if he believed some crappy 80's love song and a windy burst were pushing him along, with his head cranked towards me plastered with a his "sexy" smile his entire stride. I stared. I think my mouth might have even dropped open in awe. Of course he thought it was the most irresistible thing he's done to a lady in years. A little bit of my own sexuality died as a result of the offense. 

The thing is, getting hit on when I'm happily attached doesn't bother me. It's always funny (particularly when played out as above) to some degree. But while I'm in a relationship it serves as merely  a humorous justification that yes, my man can feel proud to have me. Why thank you sir for telling me I have beautiful eyes! Yes, yes I am attached. Why thank you for telling me he's the luckiest man in the world! I think he is too.

But when you're very recently singleized (definitely not a real word but should be), it just feels dirty.  Like a mockery. Like the man winking at me in the bar is the pointing finger to the population I now belong to...not the blissfully in love and floating above on cloud nine shooting rainbows down at crappy bar scenes. Now getting hit on, it's just soooo gross.

*And lets be honest, we never call it "getting hit on" when it's a man of substantial quality and charm. We then just call it "a chance meeting."