I Will Not Be "America's Next Top Model"

To be clear, I do not fancy myself a model. Apparently I could be a Paula Abdul look alike, much to my dismay, but there's nothing else on me screaming to be shown to the world. But I found out this past weekend besides my large forehead and diminutive size holding me back, I also have no chance in heck for model aspirations because of my age.

The topic of NYC came up and how it'd be great to live there but greatly impossible to afford by my measly means, and I mentioned I have a friend who is a model and living in New York. Apparently this was a shocking bit of news, as from the far corner of the room came a teenage gasp, "Wait...people your age are models?!"

Ok, I am not that old. I'm like at 35% of my year usage assuming I don't live too long- that's less than halfway along! I've been out of college five years- which makes me a fun and hip Texas Ex with real world experience, not a geriatric alumni. I wanted to inform her that she had three years left to ever care about being old enough to do anything, as until you get senior citizen discounts, age fails to really matter for anything at all. Yet it's rather unnerving to be told I don't qualify to do/be something because of age. Sometimes I order off the kids menu- who are they to tell me I can't eat the same amount as an eleven year old? And what, you can't be on MTV's The Real world if you're over twenty-three? Guess what, the real world doesn't even start until twenty-five. But all in all, I'm willing to put away my dreams of being America's Next Top Model because of my age. Nobody this wise could handle Tyra Banks for more than 8 minutes sober.