Wednesday, September 2, 2009

It's That Time of Year Again. You Know, When I Get Older


They've been ruined ever since the toddler years. As soon as everybody made such a huge fuss and showered you with bright plastic things and candles and your own cake, you're doomed to be let down as the years go by. I actually started out with half the fuss, as I'm a twin and have never had my own special day, thus I'm better off than most. Less expecting of grandeur. The thing is, as you get older, people don't really care about your birthday. It's more like, "Oh, you're still around? Good for you. Don't f up." After 21 it's less about what you can do, and more about what you can't. You begin to question yourself when you party until 2am at least two nights of the week, "Am I too old for this?" Usually this question flies out the door as soon as the next happy hour arrives (for some people anyway). 

What plagues me most is that I never feel any older. I've felt the same age for, oh, say 5 years. Of course I've learned and evolved and advanced- but I still feel the same age. I think this is good. I could look at the number of days I've accrued as a milestone chart- but what's the point? Won't change what I do anyway. I've always been both ahead and behind my times.

Guess what I'm saying is that here my birthday is, with an anticipation of having to feel something, and really I don't feel any different from yesterday. Besides appreciating the love & laughter I have in my life. And friends that photoshop the bags under my eyes. And boyfriends that buy me Frye boots. Birthdays aren't about celebrating me- but celebrating what's around me. As long as I keep this outlook...the future looks good. There's botox for the rest of it. 

No comments: