Sunday, December 27, 2009

Goodbye Terrible Twenties, Hello Terrible Whatever Comes Next

I obviously had no clue what I was doing when I started this blog. I think this is pretty clear.

For the most part I couldn't believe nor conceive the ludicrousness making up my twenties. So callow I had been to think after college life would unfold neatly into a pretty little row of experiences making up adulthood. As if college were a right of passage into a saner life- because truthfully- I never had a simple life. I've been running this never ending obstacle course through a circus freak show the whole way through. Sob story, I know. And if I can remember correctly my motivation for beginning this blog was in thinking I could not possibly be the only person out there believing much of this is just plain ridiculous (one of my grossly overused descriptors). And I'm a written word loud mouth with tons of use(less)ful opinions.

Personally I can use this blog as a historical reference. Not so easy to forget things when you have it conveniently recorded in the infinite Internet. Some of my posts even living infamously in my real life- the resulting danger of having anyone who knows you read your freely expressed thoughts. My attempt was to keep things in humor 90% of the time as this is all meant to be laughable, despite the times I couldn't manage a chuckle. Those instances flopped self-indulgently like the sitcom that tried to become a drama.. But believe me- there was an edit function. Tons of posts not published of things I really wanted to say but logic told me were not appropriate for my audience. Particularly the part of the audience who lives in my life with me. Blogs are dangerously easy tools to point out the truth of the matter, as when you write something down it becomes so vividly honest.

Although it certainly doesn't appear I had any semblance of rules or formality or reason to anything I've done here, I did promise myself something when I began. A tiny set of criteria. And I told myself that once one of these criteria became true- it would be time to end the blog about my horrible rotten no good very bad terrible twenties. I'm not generally one to follow the rules, but in this instance, I must oblige. Time to wrap it up. Wish I could tell you it was because suddenly I found my Oz of perfection in life, love and happenstance. That I was putting a bow on my packaged up terrible twenties and shipping it via Fedex to the past. Nope. Not happening. I'm pretty much still a disaster.

What have I learned though? I must have learned something through all this analysis! All this time spent blogging. I would say I learned 3 Things:

1) I hate other peoples lists. Lame f'ing Top Ten lists make me want to staple my hand. Yet I continually write my own stupid lists. I'm a total hypocrite.

2) MSN relationship and love advice defies all logic and intelligent thought. If I try to think of the stupidest, most least true solution to love it would be on par with the articles on MSN.

3) I no longer try and make sense of other people's love lives nor my own. We are all totally and uniquely crazy. There are no rules to this. Trying to fit into other people's rules is what ruins everything.

Good news is I've morphed into something else. I loathe to be cheesy, but it's as if I shed a skin and evolved into the next version of me. Ready to endure whatever mess my 30's brings me but with my battle scars reminding me the scrappy fights I fought. Ready to do something. Time to compile all this into a book and make a run for it. Time to start a new blog (because I can't just shut-up completely) Girl Twentiesh doesn't have the voice for. But this rather quirky and undefinable girl in this horrible rotten thing we call life is off to explore and learn more and screw up hopefully less. With many many dirty martinis of course.

Thanks for riding along...


Brittany said...

So is this "so long" for now, and you'll meet us on the otherside with another blog?! I'm going to miss my weekly catch-up of life, humor and a combination of the two!

Girl Twentiesh said...

Have no fear, I can't stay silent as I would aversely affect my real life communications if I couldn't vent the perplexities! New blog with a slightly different tone coming soon...

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