Please Stop Making Me Feel Like I Need To Tan

Why is everyone so tan?

Where I live, the sun hasn't been out and strong enough to alter the chemistry of skin (besides having it freeze) in 7 months. But everywhere I go people are not even tan, but Super Tan. Unless there was a group month long trip to Ibiza that I missed out on, I'm guessing this is the result of tanning beds. And I'd like to ask the general public to stop this behavior, as it's making me feel bad about myself.

I am guilty of self-tanner/bronzer use. But I'm starting to feel like I use it because I want to be a part of this totally new self-induced race running around. What are the genetic tendencies of the Fake-N-Bake race? Health Clubs, bars, and Starbucks- all places I frequent! So when I'm working my triceps in desperate attempt to never suffer from under arm wings, I'm forced to look at the fourteen other people in the mirror who glow and glisten with a sparkly bronze. I tend to glow in a translucent white shade. And frankly, it's making me feel a little bad about my appearance. If ya'll could wait until June to be tan (from the natural sun, like the earth intended) I would be extremely grateful. I really don't want to spend $80 a month on something nature could give me, nor up my anti-wrinkle cream usage to fight the side effects. Just because those people on the Jersey Shore are Super Tan doesn't mean they are role models for the rest of us. On that note, the rest of their behavior doesn't seem like anything you'd want to go after either...