Tuesday, February 26, 2008

19 Things Men Should Never Do Around Women/On Dates

MSN had a post today on 19 Things Men Should Never Do Around Women. I wonder where they came up with 19? Like 10 wasn’t enough, and they just couldn’t come up with the 20th?
Regardless, I found them a little uninspired, generic, and non-applicable. This list included things like "say your mom is your best friend" and "do celebrity impressions". I don't know what men these writers have been hanging around (the writers were probably men), but there are many many worse things men do around women then mimic Steve Carell. Therefore, I’ve compiled a list of 19 true offenses,have happened or arguably could, and most definitely never should:

1. Check your Match.Com emails on your Apple iphone
2. When faced with the question of what to do next after a generic dinner at a chain restaurant, say, “Heavy petting.” (actual real man story)
3. Talk about anything having to do with bathroom activities
4. Rate me on a scale of 1-10, then rate my friends
5. Ask me my bra size/clothing size before we’re in a committed relationship
6. Wear jean shorts
7. Text continually while I’m talking to you
8. Say your last girlfriend was a lingerie model
9. Comment on my weight
10. Talk about how hot 15 year old girls are unless you are under the age of 18
11. Talk about sex in a previous relationship
12. Reveal that you believe women are the lower species
13. Say “moist”
14. Ask us if we’re crabby because it’s “that time of month”
15. Wear jean shorts (this has to be continually re-enforced)
16. Tell me you think I’m hot, even though other people don’t
17. Notice my dramatic haircut a month later while we’re having sex
18. Tell me you used to be homosexual or a woman (I can’t imagine)
19. Hook up with me to have me wake up in the morning to you pleasuring yourself to porn.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, Ive encountered number 19 first hand and it definitely qualifies for this list!

Jody said...

Khaki cargo shorts, too! Don't forget those damn khaki cargo shorts!