Monday, April 27, 2009

Guys Think You Look Inappropriate Too

As a female, it is my inherent duty to pass judgement on ill-advised fashion choices on my fellow gender members. Particularly when the fashion has created a monster. Literally.

Last weekend while accompanying a group of straight men to a restuarant opening event, I got the inside scoop on what men really think about what we women wear. I've always assumed men just like a hot chick- no matter how many push-up bras and hair pieces and bottles of MAC foundation it took her to get there. These details are noticeable to me, yet to a man I assumed they pass unrecognizable. If from the blurry distance she can appear somewhat Victoria Secretish, then she passes. At least for male entertainment purposes. Perhaps not to bring to Mother's Day Brunch.

But, during this event, I was proven wrong. Before I could even marvel internally at the number of fake eyelashes and plastic MILFs prancing around in their cocktail dresses, a guy in my group commented, "Man, there's a lot of scary ugly women here." He went on to say he was grossed out from all their makeup, women too old to be dressing in BCBG garb, etc. (Of course he didn't know they were all wearing BCBG, but he understood the principal.) I was giddy to inform him that close-up, the women were even scarier. Then, we reached total agreement on a vital issue in the fashion flub totality- did these women have friends??? No friend should ever let a friend leave the house looking like a chick trying to win a date with a Backstreet Boy on some VHI reality show. Come on. Makes me want to start a website "Fashion Yes or No" where girls can post a pic of themselves before going out and I can tell them the truth. 

So, I am not a mean girl. If anything I just really care about these women and the massive misfortune they bestow upon themselves in false hopes of fake beauty. But gosh darn am I happy some men get it too.

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