Monday, April 20, 2009

Those Men Whom Display Over-Confidence

I'm constantly amazed by male actions of over-confidence. Owning confidence is a touchy act of balance- too little confidence and you come off as a wuss, overly confident and you come off as a narcissistic jerk. But in some cases, an act of over-confidence is simply bewildering.

Take for instance Acts of Over-Confidence in a Bar. Last week my BF, myself, and another couple were enjoying a musical act at a nearby pub. As we stood at the bar, we were clearly displaying signs of coupledom. Body language, limited signs of affection, etc. Yet an older gentlemen either didn't get it, or simply didn't care. He approached the other female of the group and then myself proposing we dance with him on the dance floor. In front of our dates. We both politely declined, and he in his most polite manner continued to urge us to dance. He even went on to insist that I "looked like a girl who wants to dance". What does this look like anyway? Note to self: learn how to not look like that.

This situation could have gone badly. Certain male companions do not take kindly to a man somewhat hitting on his woman right in front of him. My BF was too intoxicated/diverted to notice, thus it didn't become a problem. Further, the man was clearly out of his social boundaries. Which makes one wonder- where does this over-confidence come from? Here are some of my theories:

1. Ignorance is Bliss: the man simply does not understand the situation, therefore has no qualms of interaction.

2. Confidence Boosting Inner Dialogue: after the man analyzes the situation (two women with their boyfriends) he performs a confidence boosting inner dialogue to divert him from his fear of rejection.

3. Really, Really Confident: the man's confidence level is so high, that no criteria (women with boyfriends, women 20 years younger, women higher on the attractiveness scale) can dissuade him from action.

Whatever the case, without properly understanding this man's method to madness, this act of over confidence couldn't be met with anger or hostile rejection. Of course, there are PLENTY of incidents where hostility is not only valid, but recommended...

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