As I sit here on the couch with my boyfriend's roommate (while my boyfriend is at the Puma store), watching the basketball play-offs and talking about the trials and tribulations of dating, I realize that I'm that girlfriend. The girlfriend that is always around. Oh no.
I've been a girl who hangs with guys. It started when I got my glittery job as a Pizza Hut chef at 16 years old and I found myself the affirmative action member of the team. The other females were servers or order takers, not pizza makers. Perhaps Pizza Hut corporate was weary of the fair gender getting hold of pizza cutters...but whatever the case, I found myself surrounded by males and become "one of them". This carried on, well, forever. Giving me insight into the male mind. And this insight has granted me access to millions of conversations about the chicks guys date. And the chicks guys date that are always around. Her offenses vary and are many, but she invades the air and male space of guy camaraderie everywhere, stinking it up with her lotiony smells and stupid comments about athletes being "cute" or asking "wait, we want the white jersey team to win?" in the middle of a game. Her laugh echos a little louder, her shoes take up a little more space, and she never screws the caps on the condiments completely. She's everywhere her boyfriend is and isn't, and of course it's because that girlfriend has some sort of evil control over him making him buy only organic fruit and forcing him to invite her to nights out where only wing men are needed. Yup- she's that girlfriend.
And that girlfriend is me.
(But of course that girlfriend is not really me. But I see what they see.)