Thursday, May 14, 2009

The Old Lady in the Bar Bathroom (Me)

Last night I was out having a couple cocktails with the boys. You're probably wondering why on a Wednesday night? Well, I don't discriminate against weeknights. We hit up a new corner bar in town that has been promising to stay low key and casual. However, low key and casual no more. The place flooded with chicks dressed to the nines. Cleavage here, tons of MAC lipgloss, and lots of fake hairpieces. Then there I was, sporting a very casual sweatshirt type top. Ripped jeans. Hair that made a guy tell me I reminded him of Sarah Jessica Parker. No flat iron here. I was ill prepared for the impromptu bar appearance.  Oh well. As my fellow beer drinking partner reminded me, I already have the greatest boyfriend in the world- so it's not like I'm looking for men. (FYI boys- I dress for myself, not to pick up men)

The kicker of the evening came while using the restroom. I patiently waited in line while the two stalls served as telephone booths to drunk girls calling everyone they know. As I finally took my turn, I heard the following conversation outside my door:

"Oh my gosh, don't you feel old? I mean, there are like 18 year olds at my work." screeched a female voice.

"Well, how old are you?" asked another high pitched voice.

"Well, I'm only 22, but I feel soooo old now."

"I'm 24, so yeah, I am totally old for bartending."

Had this been a movie, I would have dramatically opened the door as the girls swiveled their heads in shock to see, to their horror, a woman in her upper twenties had been in the bathroom the whole time! The world would freeze, music would screech.

But instead, I studied the girl's unfortunate choice of belted plaid shirt as a dress, and secretly felt thankful that I am no longer 22. Then I drank another Miller Light.

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