Friday, June 12, 2009

I Am Really Glad You Groom, But I Don't Want to Watch

I've written about public grooming in the past, but I believe I witnessed something new today. While driving to create a healthy and satisfying salad at the Whole Foods salad bar, I glanced to the car next to me to see a woman plucking her eyebrows as she drove her sedan.

One, this is dangerous to all involved. Think of the ugliness if she got rear-ended? Is removing a stray hair worth the possibility of losing your vision? Of a tweezer stuck in your frontal lobe? And not to mention the fact that driving requires one to be looking at the road, not a magnified mirror.

Two, WE CAN SEE YOU. And we don't want to see you doing anything pertaining to hair. It's so unbelievable and gross. Do I have to make a Public Service Announcement? Do we need police enforcement? You can't tell me going 5 miles over the speed limit is more dangerous than a woman operating a vehicle while staring into her hair follicles. There are these things, they're called bathrooms, and they're everywhere. Use them. Of course the person grooming while driving is obviously not good with time allocation and probably uses bathrooms only to talk on cell phones.

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