Wednesday, June 17, 2009

When You're The Back Up Plan

Planning weekends is a big deal. The majority of us sit strapped to a desk for 40+ hours a week staring at the blinking red lights of phone messages piling up, screaming at emails wishing people would stop cc'ing your boss, and yet all of this is possible with the glimmering hope of a weekend. You carefully craft a schedule, with back-up plans situated in case something should go awry. For instance: Friday you will have a date night with your boyfriend unless he decides last minute to go to happy hour at 3:30pm and will be completely intoxicated & drooling by the time he sees you- then you do plan B, which is a dinner some friends planned after you had made plans. Because weekends are so precious, you expect the unexpected and plan for. I do get rather annoyed if things don't go as planned, thus I curtail extreme annoyance by planning for failure. 

But what really sucks is when you realize YOU are the back-up plan. When someone clearly would rather do Plan A or Plan B- but will make plans with you just in case they both fall through. You know what I'm talking about. 

You're on the phone with your friend, asking, "So, want to hang out tonight?" 
She pauses, you can hear the calculation in her head. 
She responds, "Um, well, I don't know. I mean, I want to, but let me see what Joe is doing. I'm not sure what he's up to, so you know...but if I can't get a hold of him in the next 2 hours, then maybe."

Okay. So she'll do something with you if Joe doesn't want to do something. Maybe. So you're suppose to wait around on the front step with your bag in the anticipation that maybe she'll want to hang out with you. Nothing like being second choice. Nothing like being the old standby just in case she can't garner up something good to do.

I guess all we can do is make ourselves our first choice. That way if we push ourselves into second choice- it's on purpose. Unless you're blessed enough to only be surrounded by a circle of people who all put each other first. Let me know- I'll join that cult. For now, I'll vow to not make someone (at least aware) that they are my second choice.

1 comment: