Tuesday, July 7, 2009

That's the Thing About Experience- It's Only Yours

The wonderful and alienating thing about life is that only you see what it looks like. Only you feel it. Nobody else can jump into your body and look through your eyes, think through your brain, feel through your body. Thankfully this is the case- there are certainly some people we wish never to see what's behind their thoughts. Like that guy I passed on the train the other day. I silently thanked whatever that I did not know him, did not know his thoughts. Bad things going on there. But many times this gets us in trouble, inhibits our understanding of the world and our relations within. We wonder to ourselves why can't we be understood? Why when I speak do the words get thrown onto a Scrabble board and formed into something completely different? Then I try to unscramble them and form them into what I meant and the whole board gets flipped over. It's confusing and frustrating. The game of life.

I know by writing what I see, writing about my experiences in my little peephole into existence, I am telling my side of the story. Sometimes it isn't even my side, but the perception I've decided to take for the day. Sometimes I even leap to the other side and write from another perspective, just to try things on for the day. But life happens in 360 degrees, and unless you're one of those people on The Matrix, it's impossible to get a view in the round. If we all understood motives and feelings and actions by everyone in the world, it wouldn't be the world we live in. We'd probably run ourselves extinct from over population. We'd all have to be friends, and man would that be boring.

I guess by writing this I just want to be fair. I want to take a moment to admit that I know I am not always right, I see life through this body, I make mistakes (which I hope I readily admit to and learn something from) and I have been on the side of people not understanding who I am, what I am about, and the stupid things I've done. But I do believe the side I take here-as somebody has been on this side. The next day I'll step 15 degrees to the right, and I'll join the new person. The person from yesterday will think I'm ludicrous.

(My favorite side is Chelsea Handler's though, as whatever side she's on is hilarious and what I deem absolute truth. You should too.)

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