I love to go out. But we all know what happens when you go out. Single or not- you're "in the scene" and out there for people to size you up. I prefer the warm and cozy protection of knowing I'm taken. How easy is it to turn someone down when the first thing you say is, "I have a boyfriend." But now I have to navigate alone, shield less. Of course I can come up with my own ammunition, like an old one I used to use, "I really hate small talk." But, unless I want to be single forever, I have to actually talk to people. I'm just so terribly bad at the entire game! And it doesn't help when the first guy to make his move strikes, surely I'll imagine my ex doing the exact same thing to some girl in another bar. Ouch (of course she won't be nearly as cute). I know some girls dream of going out at flirting with single guys- those girls are married. Flirting for one day is an experiment, flirting for 2 years is a chore.
But, tonight is the night. It can't be delayed much longer. As soon as I enter that bar I will be officially coming out as Girl Single. I may only last an hour. Or I may drink 4 glasses of wine in 20 minutes. One can only guess at my coping strategy. I will try to stay strong. Baby steps. This will take awhile to navigate again- and God knows- I'm horrible with directions.