Monday, November 9, 2009

Dating Dealbreakers- That I Cause

Because it's always good to think about both sides of the story, I began to think about dealbreakers I cause. What are the things that I do that cause a man to wave their hand and say, "Next please!"

A List of Things I Do to Break the Dating Deal
1) She does not maintain well manicured toes and fingernails. I don't. I don't get how people have time for this.

2) She's got an ugly competitive side in card games. I'm not proud of this. I think it's genetic. I get actual anxiety when someone is playing who doesn't understand how.

3) She makes me feel guilty for eating fast food. Sometimes I may not say anything, but you can always see it in my eyes.

4) Sometimes when she talks it doesn't make any sense.

5) She's horrible with direction. Men really can't stand this. I think it's a brain defect- I was premature.

6) She also knows nothing about basic car mechanics and refuses to learn. True.

7) It's like she remembers every little detail long-term but nothing short-term.

8) She isn't bubbly. Or the life of the party. I got a Bachelor of Science for heaven's sake- I'm supposed to be standing in the corner.

9) She won't use a dishwasher and leaves the room if I unload it- which is very weird. (I loathe the sound of filmy glass against skin)

10) She can't do anything straight- park, cut paper, hang a frame. I blame it on being ambidextrous. I'm in constant confusion.

11) She refuses to wear a sports jersey. Call me no fun, but it does not fit into my personal style guide.

12) She points out bad television or filmmaking while I watch it. I have gotten MUCH better at this- now I just remove myself from the situation. Don't make me watch it, as I can't hide my feelings.

And, and I think that's enough pointing out of my own flaws for one evening.

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