Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Deep Thoughts by the Unemployed

As soon as allotted the freedom to choose how to spend the extra 2,400 minutes you've been granted a week, you're inevitably (if type AA as myself) trying to figure out how to fill those minutes ASAP. Hopefully not by the marionette of a Mr. Crazy Boss and preferably with a rate of at least thirty-seven cents a minute. Hurrah though for me, as surely with Obama & Oprah leading the country I can truly be anything I want to be and succeed!

Thus, the past few days of nothing to do but contemplate my employment fate have brought about thoughts of the following career paths:

#1 Sandwich Cart Girl
Buy a concession cart, slap on a cute self-branded t-shirt, and sell sandwiches from a cart all spring/summer. You probably don't know this, but I can make some pretty mean sandwiches. They'd be healthy & recession friendly. I call it a networking opportunity. People would be like, "Hey, did you see recession sandwich girl today? She's got a Tex-Mex tuna panini melt that's mad tasty! Maybe we should give her a real job?"

#2 Vending Machine Business
An entrepreneurial friend fearing his own layoff gave this idea to me. Potential. Problem is that I'd have a moral compass prohibiting me from stocking the machines with the unhealthily evil candy/chip combo and rather would stock with organic snacks. Then when I go to refill the machines, angry worker bees would throw shoes at my head screaming, "Bring the frickin' Snickers back vending machine girl!" 

#3 Pillsbury Bake-Off Winner 
$1,000,000 to the Midwestern housewife creating a genius family friendly meal out of specifically chosen products. Well, move over ladies because I'm swooping in. Growing up in a family of seven has me well equipped for this competition. In conjunction with my months of recipe brainstorming (how fun it'll be to pop open that many Pillsbury dough tubes!) I'll produce a documentary on the crazy twenty-something who went off the edge after losing her job and believes her ticket to financial freedom lies in clinching the title of Pillsbury Bake-Off Winner 2009.

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